was jesus a hacker?

i have some evidence to present...

walking on water: this could have been a trick. maybe they just put rocks or something just under the surface so you couldn't see them.

marrying a whore but still managing to make people believe that you are the messiah and that they should follow you because your values are better than theirs: this is down to charisma. charlie manson did it. except for the whore part. charlie is single afaik.

resurrection: this is the tricky one. unless, of course, he didn't really die but was merely unconscious when the romans let him off the hook, ah, i mean cross. BUT if he was actually dead and then came back to life, HOLY SHIT, HAXOR!

so was jesus really like neo in the matrix (the first one evidently, the other ones suck hard)? a mad hacker with a love for fast women? except for the fast women part. i'm pretty sure neo has the gay for morpheus.

no, he was a jew

Jesus like to play hackie sac. hippies like hackie sac. :eek: Jesus is a hippie.

and he was against the establishment... so he was a left-wing radical.

Namreg said:

and he was against the establishment... so he was a left-wing radical.

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just like Obama.....................wait on damn minute, is obama the second comming? It is all starting to make sence now.

God made You Misspell for the blasphemy you spake!

obama is neither left-wing nor radical... he's a career politician. an all-round asshole who is an embarrassment to the human race, like all career politicians.

Can't say as I've never seen him play golf. Although when I was looking at a picture of him after the resurrection I noticed his palm had a hole in one.

I don't thin they had computers when Jaysis was around.

(Mrs Jolly - I despair.)

Well I think you do have to put a lot of these stories down to Jesus' very aggressive public relations department. If the man did exist (which is still up for debate) then there is no way he did any of the things listed in the Bible. Or as you say he was a very talented magician, kinda like the Jesus depicted in South Park....

But what really has to be asked is, were these "miracles" placed within those pages to help cement his place as the messiah to allow the faith to grow? It would seem pretty obvious that they were. At that time there were many so called 'messiahs', it was in the best interest of those who believed in this one particular individual as the only messiah to make him out to be even more special and divine that those he was being compared to. Also at the time there was also some dispute as to whether or not Jesus was actually a divine being or just a 'prophet'. It would seem that those on the side of his divinity seem to have won that debate and so overtime stories such as those arose which made the man seem more than just a man.

So was Jesus a 'hacker'? No, probably not. Has his reputation been 'hacked' to suit the needs of a new religion and make it more malleable to peoples wants and needs? Most definitely.

i know, blue; was just having some fun. his wife wasn't really a 'ho, the church made her one to prove a point about redemption or something. and the words "mary" and "virgin" aren't mentioned in the bible until some french bishop or cardinal or wtv decided to make her a virgin in the 13th or 14th century.

Namreg said:

i know, blue; was just having some fun. his wife wasn't really a 'ho, the church made her one to prove a point about redemption or something. and the words "mary" and "virgin" aren't mentioned in the bible until some french bishop or cardinal or wtv decided to make her a virgin in the 13th or 14th century.

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I know and so am I.

So, you know. If you wanna have fun together sometime, we could - like - make out or something.

Jesus wasn't a hacker. He was a cracker.

Hows come great and wonderful religious superheroes always have a prostitute in their repertoire? Didn't Muhammed have a thin and sightless peasant girl?

YMIHERE said:

Jesus wasn't a hacker. He was a cracker.

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. . . a cracker hacker? :dunno:

YMIHERE said:

Jesus wasn't a hacker. He was a cracker.

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But was he a Crackity ass cracker?

Jesus was a Heavy Metal fan.

Just look at his Iron Maiden styled hair-do for evidence of this.

no of course not they didn't have computers at that time, he was a jew and a carpenter.

Lonilover said:

no of course not they didn't have computers at that time, he was a jew and a carpenter.

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ooh... time for freemason conspiracies...

I'm with tiger1977 on this one, definately a jew.